The Last Word: Smart Brides, Dumb Myths

You’ve met the man of your dreams, and he is a little piece of heaven on earth. But then again, look at you: You’re fabulous in your own right. Your credentials are exceedingly impressive: You’ve taken and passed the New York and California bar exam in the same year. Or you’ve graduated from Wharton and started your own business that just landed a multi-million dollar deal with a major retailer. Perhaps you’re a single parent with a busy career coupled with soccer, piano and ballet class schedules that (literally) keep you on your toes. Or maybe you work from nine to six, which we all know really means from seven to two in the morning. Regardless, the overachieving side that makes you dynamic has also issued a royal proclamation that will do you in: You want to plan your wedding—alone.

Why would such an incredibly smart, successful, gifted and gorgeous woman purposely do this to herself? It’s tantamount to Steven Spielberg saying, “Hold the special effects! I have a cool flashlight in my garage that will do the same thing.” In seeing Prince Charming ride in on his white horse, you’ve decided to show his lordship that Rapunzel can not only let down her hair, but she can also turn it into a gorgeous white swag for the reception hall.

Myth #1: I just want to experience my entire wedding from start to finish, by myself.
You may be into natural wedding planning, but dearest, you don’t receive an epidural while planning your wedding. Wonder Woman was a cartoon character with bracelets that fended off bullets; a gold lasso to get unwilling criminals to tell the truth; and an invisible plane to leave whenever she wanted. You have none of these! Either hire some help or invest in smelling salts.

Myth #2: I won’t do it alone. Mom and I are going to cater the wedding reception together.
You and Mom cannot agree on the color of the napkins. You say pine, and she says chartreuse. You’re a vegetarian, and her maiden name was Carne Asada. Get a mental picture of your food stations: tofu salad bar meets prime rib. On second thought, you know that could work provided your wedding favors are two Alka-Seltzer tablets discretely wrapped in dainty little mesh bags. Take the pressure off and call a caterer or make arrangements to appear on a daytime talk show -- and I’m not talking Oprah.

Myth #3: I have to do it myself if I want it done right.
This is a tough one. Let me suggest a foolproof course of action to acquire the right team for your big day: dim the lights in your warmly appointed living room; have The Godfather theme song playing in the background; sit on a tan leather chair dressed in all black; borrow your neighbor’s pet cat and stroke it every 15-20 seconds; invite everyone that could possibly assist you with your wedding, and give them full instructions while drinking a glass of Chianti. If you receive any resistance, make them an offer they can’t refuse. You have now delegated responsibility and can call yourself Don Brideleone.

The goal in wedding planning is to get things done. You’re great -- so delegate!

Now, go enjoy your wedding!