What to Do When You Don't Like Your Engagement Ring

Tips on how to handle receiving a ring that doesn't reflect your personal taste.

What to Do When You Don't Like Your Engagement Ring

Photo: Bob & Dawn Davis Photography

what to do if you don't like your engagement ring

Getting engaged is an incredible and loving thing – what a beautiful way of expressing your feelings for another person, proclaiming your love and commitment to them in such an official way. Traditionally, selecting the engagement ring was not the task of the person who would come to wear it: the proposer would pick out a ring – or receive one that had been passed down in the family – with which to pop the question. Fortunately, times have changed, and couples are having more open conversations about their engagements and the jewelry involved. These days, it’s much more popular to discuss preferences in styles and settings, or even design the engagement ring together. Of course, that does not mean the system is fool-proof: plenty of people end up receiving a ring that does not fit their taste. If you should find yourself in this position, we’ve put together a list of ways in which to react to getting an engagement ring you don’t particularly like.

-          Remember the thought that went into it. The number one rule: you’re engaged! You’re going to marry the person you love most in the world. It goes without saying that overall, joy should be your main emotion. Bask in the warm glow of this lovely moment in time before doing anything else. It’s natural to feel some guilt over your distaste for the band, but ultimately, you’ll be the one to wear it for the rest of your marriage.

-          Bring it up in a positive way. This should be a no-brainer, but if you don’t like the ring enough to want to make changes, talk it over with your partner. Be sure to discuss the things you like about the ring while also stating your reasoning on wanting to change some things about it.

-          Be realistic. If you truly don’t like the style of the ring, be honest with yourself about what you might like to change. If the alterations you want to make are slight, then they shouldn’t be difficult to achieve. However, keep in mind the meaning of the ring to your partner: if it is a family heirloom, making changes might be seen as disrespectful to your beloved’s family. Should your sweetheart be on board with making changes, discuss the matter and come up with a solution you’re both happy with.

-          Don’t complain – even to your friends. Even if it’s a small comment, nothing good can come of perceived bad-mouthing of your significant other – especially following an engagement. Even if your sweetie disregarded your personal style and taste after you feel you made it clear – we hope that’s not the case – complaining will only lead to negative feelings, either toward you or toward your betrothed.

-          Make any changes together. When it comes time to make a trip to the jeweler, make an effort to go as a pair. This can be one of the many activities you’ll be doing as an engaged couple, and sharing the modification of a piece of jewelry that symbolizes your love for one another is romantic as well as practical. Creating something so special as a couple can strengthen your bond and make your relationship that much stronger, and those kinds of experiences are so important to have during the beginning of an engagement.

See what your engagement ring says about you, view lovely three-stone rings, and discover Claire Pettibone's new engagement ring collection.

Opening photo by Bob & Dawn Davis Photography