How to Deal with Personal Questions About Your Wedding

Sometimes you'll want to keep your business to yourself.

Here are a few strategies for responses that you can prepare ahead of time.

By Emily Lasnier

oval-cut-diamond-engagement-ring-with-halo-setting-on-brides-left-ring-finger
Photo: Images by Berit, Inc.

Being engaged is an exciting thing, especially as you start to plan your wedding. Most people know it can also be a stressful experience, but one possibly unexpected aspect of your post-proposal life is how it imbues people with the idea that they are free to ask personal and invasive questions about you and your future spouse. Whether it’s someone not on the guest list asking about their invitation or a relative wondering if there’s a baby on the way, it can be difficult to have tactful responses to nosy questions. While it’s just about impossible to predict every rude or misguided thing someone may say to you, there are a few strategies for responses that you can prepare ahead of time. 

how to handle invasive questions about your wedding

Photo by Robert Evans for 5th Avenue Digital; Bridal Gown by Anne Barge; Bridal Salon: Mark Ingram Atelier

When you first get engaged, one of the easiest ways to dodge questions is to admit you don’t know the answer. The best part is it’s usually an accurate response! So many couples are inundated with questions about the date, colors, location, and more just mere minutes after getting engaged. Explaining that you want to take some time to enjoy this new step in your relationship is one way to stall these queries for a little while. Even if you are starting to plan right away, you can still note that you are only in the early stages. 

Once you start making decisions, there will be some people who want to know every little detail. Some brides won’t mind this and even jump at the chance to talk about the wedding. However, if you’d rather not share, perhaps just explain that you’re hoping to surprise everyone on the big day. In the instance where the person asking is not invited to your nuptials, politely explain that you and your beloved want to keep the details private, but that you’d love to share pictures when you get them back from the photographer. 

If you know that the person asking questions is the type to keep pushing, control the conversation by changing the subject as soon as you finish your initial response. Regardless of who is asking or what the question may be, just remember to take a deep breath, smile, and respond tactfully so that you keep the conversation in a positive light and don't damage any relationships.

For more tips, learn what you shouldn't do right after you get engaged and what to do when you're sick of planning. 

Wedding news