How to Handle Disagreements Between Your Bridesmaids

Don't let bickering bridesmaids ruin your big day!

Real arguments can break out and you may find yourself caught in the middle of two of your closest friends fighting while you’re already swamped with wedding planning. Here's what to do.

By Emily Lasnier

long-strapless-bridesmaid-dresses-with-ruching-at-the-bust-in-an-off-white-color
Photo: Rob and Wynter

Any time you gather together a group of people who don’t know each other, there’s a good chance there will be some who don’t get along. Therefore, unless everyone is already from the same friend group (i.e. your high school clique or college roommates have stayed close), there may be tension among your bridesmaids.

If you are lucky, this will be confined to some comments behind each other’s back that never reaches your ears. Unfortunately, in extreme cases, real arguments can break out and you may find yourself caught in the middle of two of your closest friends fighting while you’re already swamped with wedding planning.

emotional bridesmaids wiping tears, how to handle disagreements between bridesmaids

Photo by Angel Canary Photography

The good news is that we have advice on how to nip bridal-party tension in the bud, as well as how to smooth things over before everything gets out of hand. The time spent with your bridesmaids should be filled with celebration and love, not arguments and passive aggression. Follow these tips if you encounter the latter:

- Let your girls know about each other's personality quirks ahead of time. Shyness and outspoken attitudes can both be perceived as rude when they are unexpected.
- Have a relaxed get-together to break the ice between everyone. If there are some bridesmaids you know have a negative history, this gathering will test if they can play nice for the big day and pre-wedding events.
- Be upfront with the ones who don’t get along, separately, about how you are worried that this disagreement will adversely affect your wedding day.
- Fill in your neutral bridesmaids on the situation so that they can act as buffers.
- Do not complain about one bridesmaid to another, as this may justify or encourage bad behavior towards each other. Reach out to your future spouse or your mom if you need to vent.
- If your bridesmaids are helping with the wedding planning, give those who don't get along separate, but equally important, tasks. Arguments will likely ensue if they have to make favors or plan bridal shower games together.
- Remember that their fighting is not about you – or if it is, it's because they're jealous about your affections. Either way, it is not your fault. Personalities clash.

Learn what to expect from bridesmaids and how to keep them happy, discover the secret to knowing if you have too many bridesmaids, and get tips on how to politely refuse to be someone's bridesmaid. For bridesmaid dress inspiration, visit our photo galleries to sort hundreds of images by your color palette!

Wedding news