How Wedding Guests Might Accidentally Stress Out the Bride

Things you shouldn't say to the couple getting married.

The last thing attendees want to do is cause additional stress during the planning process or make the big day anything less than perfect. However, there are plenty of things guests may say or do that are raising the stress levels of the bride.

By Emily Lasnier

bride-and-groom-kiss-anne-barge-wedding-dress-pleasantdale-chateau-in-new-jersey-wedding-portrait
Photo: Robert Evans for 5th Avenue Digital

Being a bride or groom tends to have its advantages, particularly on the actual wedding day. While true “bridezilla” behavior quickly gets tiresome, many people will go out of their way to make the couple of honor happy. Think of everything Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) was able to get away with by saying “it’s for the bride” during Lily (Alyson Hannigan) and Marshall’s (Jason Segal) wedding on How I Met Your Mother. The last thing well-meaning attendees want to do is cause additional stress during the planning process or make the big day anything less than perfect. However, even if it’s unintentional, there are plenty of things guests may say or do that are raising the stress levels of the bride. 

bride in blush wedding dress going up fire exit ladder

Photo by Maya Myers Photography

Here are some things you shouldn't say as a wedding guest to avoid stressing out the couple of honor:

- Commenting on how fast or slow the engagement seems to be. Each couple has their own reasons for choosing a date.
- Asking if the bride or groom plans to diet for the big day. This isn’t considered an appropriate question for non-engaged people, so why would it be okay to ask about it now?
- Stating how differently you did things at your wedding, especially if it’s past the point where the bride or groom can change their decision. So you think individual escort cards are better than a decorative seating chart – is sharing this after the calligraphy on the sign has been paid for helpful?
- Any mention of the weather forecast. No one is paying more attention to the wedding-day forecast than the couple getting married. Bringing it up already heightens the anxiety about whether they’ll have to put “Plan B” in place instead of the alfresco ceremony of their dreams.
- Being too picky in regards to the reception meal. By all means be sure to share if you have severe allergies or dietary restrictions, but remember that not liking olives is not on the same level as being vegan. Preparing a menu for a large group is a lot of work. You’ll find something to eat. 
- Complaining about any problem at the wedding itself. It is absolutely an issue if your table doesn’t have enough seats, but don’t bother the bride with it. Find the planner or someone from the venue or catering staff to take care of any issue that arises.  

Learn what you shouldn't do in front of your guests and how to be the best plus one wedding guest. Also, read our guide on what not to tell a bride on her wedding day.

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