Involving Your Parents in the Wedding Planning Process

Discover a few ways to ensure your parents aren’t left out.

If you want to involve your parents more, but are unsure of how to include them as you organize the big day, take a look at the following tips.

By Keeanna Garcia

bride-in-a-white-sari-with-burgundy-and-gold-trim-with-parents
Photo: Mi Belle Photographers

Because wedding planning poses a hectic time for any bride or groom, it is easy to get so preoccupied with appointments and researching that you simply are depleted of time. Parents can start to feel neglected or upset that they are not involved. Maybe you now dedicate your weekends to taking care of wedding business instead of attending family functions? Or, maybe you haven’t considered that others want to partake in this experience alongside you and your fiancé? Even though many couples are getting married a bit older than past generations and are hosting celebrations themselves, parents can be very important to any wedding, and most do want to be involved in the overall process.

Aside from traditional father-daughter and mother-son dances, parents often play a much larger role in weddings and want to embrace the time before their child begins a new life. That being said, be patient with them, be empathetic, and be understanding – not to say that you shouldn’t stand your ground on detail choices, but this special time is memorable and helps to bond parental relationships.

Bride and groom in bakersfield with both sets of parents wedding portrait

Photo by Braedon Photography; Planning & Design by Mindy Weiss Party Consultants

If you want to involve your parents more, but are unsure of how to include them as you organize the big day, take a look at the following tips:

Communicate your ideas with them. Tell your parents about the theme and color scheme you’re envisioning, food you’re considering, or venues that interest you. They may have some useful tips or help you to think outside the box.

Invite them to appointments. Take them along as you meet with vendors and shop for the perfect ensemble. As you do so, enjoy a meal with them after appointments to help ease your mind and allow time to focus primarily on them.

Update them on your decisions. If your parents cannot attend an appointment or you’d rather go alone or with someone else, inform them about your day and how the appointment went. They will love hearing from you and knowing how the process is going.

Ask them for help. You might find yourself running short on time or feeling overwhelmed. To avoid further stress, tell them you need help and ask for their advice. Doing this will reassure that their input matters. They may also want to take on a task, so think of some areas where you wouldn’t mind them taking the reins.

Give them a project. Maybe your parents have connections or are skilled in an area such as crafting, painting, etc. Does your mom love baking? Maybe she can make treats for the rehearsal dinner. Is your dad a retired contractor? Consider asking him to build you a custom bar for the reception. There are so many innovative projects that they might be thrilled to help with.

Choose the music with them. Listen to songs with them and decide which tunes are the best options for dinner, special dances, and late-night festivities. Your parents will feel extra special if you share this time with them.

Request they make a speech at your wedding. One of the most heartfelt aspects of a wedding is a parent’s speech. Each speech is special and really expresses a parent’s love for his or her child as well as their excitement for their son or daughter's new life. Your parents will be honored that you want them to speak on your big day.

For more advice, discover how to solve common parental issues during planning, find out how to choose the right songs for your special dances, and view tips for introducing your respective sets of parents.

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