What to Do When Your Bridesmaid Is Going Through a Breakup

It can be hard to focus on your love when her heart is broken.

Timing is everything, and if one of your bridesmaids gets dumped or has to choose to end a relationship in the lead up to your wedding, she might feel even worse than she would in a normal breakup.

By Emily Lasnier

bride-in-a-galia-lahav-gown-with-lace-panels-bridesmaids-in-sleeveless-black-dresses-white-bouquet
Photo: Amy & Stuart Photography

Although wedding planning can be stressful, your engagement period should otherwise be a happy time for you. After all, you’ve recently committed to spending the rest of your life with your favorite person! It’s also a time where your friends and family are often eager to share in your happiness. One of the best parts of wedding planning is getting to spend bonding time with your best gal pals. Unfortunately, sometimes your happiness can overlap with someone else’s pain, even if one didn’t cause the other. Timing is everything, and if one of your bridesmaids gets dumped or has to choose to end a relationship in the lead up to your wedding, she might feel even worse than she would in a normal breakup. As your bridesmaid is someone you presumably care quite a bit about, odds are you’ll want to help her through this trying time – while still making progress on your wedding plans. Here are some tips to help you both get through it.  

what to do when your bridesmaid gets dumped, how to help your bridesmaid through a breakup

Photo by Lane Dittoe Photography; Planning & Design by Thomas Bui Lifestyle

- Be there to listen. You might not be in the mood to hear things like “men suck” or “love is dead,” but giving your friend the chance to vent is a kind gesture. It also will preempt any thoughts about you being self-centered and only focused on the wedding.

- Let her take the lead. There is a chance your bridesmaid will want to lean into wedding talk and planning as a distraction, but depending on how serious the former relationship was, it might be too painful. Let her be the one to bring up any talk of your upcoming big day to prevent upsetting her. 

- Be understanding. In the case that your bridesmaid is less enthusiastic about your wedding after the breakup, try not to take it personally. If you need assistance on planning details, lean on your other bridesmaids or family members. 

- Sort out attendance. If your bridesmaid’s ex was only invited to your wedding as a plus one, they will hopefully understand that they should no longer attend. Use your best judgment on whether this needs to be spelled out. It gets trickier if you (or your future spouse) are genuinely friends with the ex as well. At a minimum, be kind when developing your seating chart. 

On the other end of the spectrum, find out what to do when your best friend gets engaged and how to handle getting cold feet before your wedding. 

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