Why You Don't Want to Be Too Relaxed with Wedding Planning

Trying too hard to avoid being seen as a bridezilla can backfire.

After all, the other major issue with being too laissez-faire about organizing your big day is that it means decisions don’t get made. Find out what to do if you end up here.

By Emily Lasnier

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Photo: Tessa Maxine

Many women planning their weddings fear being labeled a “bridezilla.” This is a bride who is deemed as overly demanding with unreasonable expectations, to the point of being rude and taking advantage of friends and family. As with many labels, “bridezilla” sometimes is applied too liberally – such as when a woman requests a certain type of flowers for her centerpieces. Sometimes brides are so afraid of being called a bridezilla that they end up overcorrecting. In some circles, this has been referred too as being a “bridechilla” to indicate the bride is too chill, or relaxed, about wedding planning – to the point of making things difficult for those around her. But how can being low maintenance be a bad thing?

Telling your bridesmaids that they can all wear whatever they want may seem like you’re being very accommodating, but it can actually make things difficult. While people may like choices, they also like structure. Think of the last event you went to where you felt over or underdressed. It didn’t feel good, right? None of your bridesmaids will want to be the one who is too casual or too fancy, or whose dress clashes with everyone else’s gown. This lack of guidelines can be a problem for anyone else involved in your nuptials as well, from your parents, to vendors, and even your future spouse. The cliché is a groom saying “I don’t care” all the time when it comes to wedding planning, but it’s a problem the other way around as well. Even if you’ve chosen to let someone take the lead, you should still offer an opinion when it’s asked of you so things can move forward. 

After all, the other major issue with being too laissez-faire about organizing your big day is that it means decisions don’t get made. Essentially, you’re procrastinating and eventually there will be a time where everything has to be figured out rapidly, which will be pretty stressful for everyone involved. No matter how little you may care about escort cards or linens, if you have to make a bunch of choices weeks before the wedding, you may find yourself becoming what you most feared – a bridezilla. 

Discover expert picks for trends for 2018 to help guide your planning process. Really hate planning? Learn what to do if you decide to elope! 

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